I love Netflix.

As I have nothing better to do while I search jobs and whatnot, I've been watching SKINS on netflix's instant queue. I'm in love with this show. It's like a BBC version of High School Musical that has no singing, no dancing except at clubs, a shitload of teenage drug usage, and genuinely reminds me of being in Britain. I realize that doesn't really sound appealing to most, but I'm rather enjoying it.

In other news, I have a hair appointment to fix this disaster at 3:30 at Nikki Fennmore's salon. I wonder if I should mention to her that I've seen her perform and she's the reason I've even heard of Art of Hair in the first place, or just keep my mouth shut. Mom suggested I ask her for a trade, since my photo skills are generally aimed at her community, but she's not the colorist actually doing my hair, so I have my doubts it's even worth bringing up.

In other other news, if anyone at all has any connections to non profit NYC art & media organizations, I'd love a heads up. I applied to a job that I'm not only qualified for, but genuinely interested in called Our Silent Canvas (<--click for the website). They need an assistant / creative planner, and I fit all of their qualifications and their "these skills are a bonus" - plus I really dig their statement. Anyone who knows anyone, it would be greatly appreciated to throw in a good word for me.  

I'm sending good juju your way in advance.

I need to organize my life again

Here I am again, sitting in an empty house I have no claim to other than my dog, who is hellbent on not letting me sit still. I sincerely look forward to the days when he no longer requires my constant supervision.

Here's the general outlook for the following week:

Craigslist at least twice a day, once in the am and once after lunch to try and find applicable jobs that I don't have to lie about myself to get the job done. The hardest part about this is that I keep finding things I know I can do, but I either don't know how to say "Hi, I won't be there til February but I am damn good at what I do!! Please hire me and trust that waiting is the best answer!" or I am too chickenshit to believe someone might actually be willling to wait for a too-good-to-be-true job, so I just don't want to bother. I want to be on the hunt for jobs now, but I kind of know no one is going to hire a month out, other than internships. I realize it's also pretty futile as I can't do interviews until the last week of January as it is.

Then I have to attend to the pups; the one I'm housesitting for now will be referred to as Snaggle, because she's rather cute other than this CRAZY snaggletooth on her bottom set that juts out over her lip in an underbite fashion. It would be adorable and endearing if it wasn't so scary first thing in the morning when she's staring at me from my pillow that she somehow always manages to confiscate in my sleep.

In any other time, I'm reworking resumes, cover letters, my web site, the order of my professional experience, keeping the house tidy from antics and general clutter, and Craigslisting apartments, also something I can't commit to until February, but it's nice to see my options dwindle ahead of time. At least I'm getting an idea of how much money I don't have that I need in order to move in, let alone sustain myself at. On the bright side, I find I don't miss tv.

I have no problem taking an internship, I would absolutely love hands on experience in a less-stressful situation such as an internship, but the problem is that most are unpaid. And, in the biggest stretch of chance I actually get one, how do I expect to jet to NYC and start that, without knowing how I'll make and save any money. It's one thing to know you'll only be there for the summer & you can plan accordingly, but I barely have my feet under me. I feel like I need to find part time work, then a possible internship (oh holy mother of hell, Swayze just found a squeak toy of Snaggle's that sounds like he is straight up murdering a small animal and it is screaming for its life. Scared the pants off me just now. /random tangent) -- I know getting any job is better than nothing, but I always worry that more than one place will want me, and then what? God, how cocky is my chickenshit subconscious?? Honestly.

On more personal notes, I dyed my hair and it's awful. I haven't had such a disaster since the "blond incident" of freshman year. I am letting it fade a few days so I don't torch it to death, and then promptly fixing it. I'd say before New Years, as to not cause myself public embarrassment on a night out, but at the moment I will not be going out, as I have no one to go out with me. Great dress, brand new 6 inch platform pumps, and no where to go. I am also working on my 23 before 24 list, and being pissy about buying groceries. 

I'm a little out of touch, distant, and grouchy these days. I'm not sure if it's the stress or the weather or the sheer lack of feeling anything stable, but I'll try to cheer up. I had intended to keep this blog for only the positive bright side of my life, but, well, we can't have everything.

Cross some fingers for me that something, anything will pan out for my New Year? I promise to do the same for you.

If that god awful toy wasn't keeping him so entertained, I'd throw it out. He would like the most irritating toy in the house.

Dog Training

I am in the middle of dog training - Swayze is young so I don't know how much he's going to retain. He's on and off like a light bulb; he can be amazing for an entire day and by evening, he's a terror. Or we'll have one great day, where I'm sure we made progress, and the very next day he's impossible.

I've been watching dog training videos on youtube & Animal Planet, and as much as I appreciate the advice and whatnot, there's quite a few "problems" that I don't have with Sway, so I don't know how to use the information properly. For example, I'm watching this series on how to teach your dog not to bark. A lot of the training techniques are for if your dog is barking at something they are afraid of. On the bright side, I don't think Sway is afraid of much. He had a rough first few months of life, but nothing he went through before adoption seems to have left scars - he loves playing with other dogs (particularly dogs 3-4 times his size), he doesn't fear odd things like hats or even the Christmas tree, and he's submissive & loves to be pet & held (when he isn't all riled up that is). What he barks at is entirely natural - wanting to play more, or when people / dogs walk past the window. He doesn't bark at them in real life like on a walk, but behind the window he decides to be ballsy. He loves looking out the window, it's one of the few things that calms him, so even though all of the videos say to not allow him near things like fences or windows (aka avoid a barking trigger) seems against all of my intuition. It's not like he barks nonstop. In fact, he's asleep on the back of the couch up against the window as I type.

I just feel a little stuck - he's got enough basic information down 90% of the time, and while we "train" with treats, he seems to be catching on. It's the in practice that he falls apart. He gets so distracted, I know I need to keep his attention on me, I just don't know how to get it. I just need someone to tell me where to go from here. 

We need to work on not biting and heeling. That's today's challenge. If I'm going to move forward with my future plans, he's got to be better trained. That puts both of us on a very tight schedule and short deadline. 

If anyone that reads this has tips or good links, PLEASE share!! Thanks in advance!

No time to waste.

It's All Happening.

I'm so scared and so full of anxiety and so ready and so nervous and so... so... 

I'm ready. I just need to keep telling myself I'm ready.

I'll be ok. 

It's a huge step, it's scary as hell (and get this - it's not really my wellbeing I'm scared of, it's Swayze's. I don't want to let him down.) and it's about damn time.

More on this when I'm for sure ready to share the news. I want to keep the bulk of it to myself for a little longer. Just cross some fingers for me?

Hope everyone else's new years plans are taking shape, too.

Christmas Spirit

I am so ahead of the game this year. 

I am 1.5 small gifts short of having all my shopping done this year - I've never been so thankful for online shopping. I was nearly finished by Thanksgiving, and the last of my shopping all had 5-10 day ground shipping, so I'm just playing a waiting game. Everything's ordered, just gotta hope it arrives in time for wrapping. Success. 

This leaves plenty of room to bake. Not usually a task I look forward to because I'm not the best little Suzy Homemaker, but this year, something just feels right about it. 

I don't usually well up with excitement for the holidays. I never get overly festive, nor do I usually look forward to Christmas all that much - getting gifts and all the red & green don't typically do it for me. It's just not my favorite holiday. This year though, I got to do things my way, and I have mixed Hannukah traditions, Christmas music on my own terms, Christmas movies (not just the ABC Family ones), and personal shopping time to really get it right for everyone I care about this year. Felt refreshing.

I'm wondering how much of this "adult-esque" revelation has been the puppy's fault. I know it sounds ridiculous, but he's so much like having a kid, I really feel like I've got my own little family by having him with me all the time now. I want his holiday to be special, even if he doesn't understand why it should be.

In other news, I had Cap'n Crunch for the first time today. Where was this my whole childhood?? I recall thinking I didn't like it, but apparently I've grown out of that. One bowl led to another...

So much snow.

Ignore me sounding like a baby-voiced douche.

Enjoy the snowy fluff bounding along with me.

Taxes

Being an adult is tough work.

I applied (finally) for my sales tax ID number, so that part is just a waiting game. In the meantime, I found the rest of the paperwork I need to do them online, and stalled out.

I don't know how to do my own sales tax. I totally understand how to do the math, what I don't understand is how to fill out all of the excessive paperwork that "proves" how I get to the mathematical answer I already know. I'm hoping to get a  hold of an accountant tomorrow afternoon to arrange a meeting real real soon (these particular taxes are due the 20th... yikes).

Gross.

Just sharing, because that's the stress factor tonight. 

Other than that, it's quiet here on Swissvale.

ZOMG snow.

I shall use the back yard table as a point of measuring reference.

December 1st came, and it started snowing, in a slush sort of drizzly way.

By the 3rd, it was starting to come down and stick a little. 

By the 5th, we had at least 8 inches outside.

6th & 7th, it snowed so bad I had to cancel a dinner date on Monday & a Hanukah party last night at Jill's cousin Sammy's. 

Last night I gave up and shoveled that picnic table in the back. It's glass top and I was getting worried...

Today, I was up at 7 & shoveling by 720. Did a shoddy job, but I had to be on the road at 8, so I just did bare minimum to get my car out of the driveway. 

I then risked puppy life and my vehicle's limbs to get to Rome for the puppy sitter (Jill's sister watched him while I taught for an hour). The roads were horrible until I got to Oneida, where you'd swear it hadn't snowed even 3 inches. Once I was in Utica, late for the class I was supposed to teach at 10, everyone was very understanding as they'd been prepped that I was coming from Syracuse. 

Utica had only wet roads; no snow, no ice, just wet. 

Once back in Chittenango, I was once again steering for our lives.

Upon successfully returning home, I found I had to shovel again in order to even pull into, let alone park, in the driveway. I tried shoveling, but the under-layer of snow had started to melt, and it was heavy as hell. I gave up not even a quarter through it, and broke down to finally call Mark, the kid that mowed the lawn all fall. He has a snowblower. I offered to make him tea. He politely declined, but I couldn't be more thankful that I can finally pull my car back into the driveway safely.

The class I taught was for older folks at the Utica rec center to learn how to turn on their camera, learn the auto settings, set the date/time, and focus properly (press the shoot button halfway, it'll beep, then press all the way! great job! I am not a good teacher.). Turns out I'm much better at talking them through it while I do it, especially since they all had different cameras. One lady took notes, she was cute and reminded me of my Grandma Bowman. She would be befuddled by new technology too. 

I would have loved to show her how to take digital pictures.

One the second day of Hannukah...

I'm learning about Jews. 

Today, I learned about Gelt and how to make latkas. 

Not being a fan of potatoes, I was quite nervous about whether or not I'd enjoy tonight's dinner.

Turns out, it was delish. And I'm enjoying my education quite a bit.

And now, I leave you with a little fluffylove:

Published.

I'm getting a picture published in late December.

I'm getting full credit, no money, but to be fair I don't think anyone's photos were paid for.

To be honest, I'm just sort of excited that a picture I took is going to be available at Barnes & Noble!

(hey there Resume, haven't updated you in a while...)

If anyone is interested, the book is called 100 of the Most Influential Gay Entertainers, by Jenetha Baines, and it's released December 28th, and you can click here to see what it's all about. I photographed Stefon Royce at the Mr. USofA, MI show earlier this year and the photos she was originally working with were too dark for publishing, so they instead went with one of mine. 

Exciting email to kick off a new month, to say the least.

Wishlist.

Click a picture to go to the order form page if you wanna spoil me. I won't say no. I'm an 8.5. 

Remember, I do have a birthday coming up right after Christmas...

23 before 24

The realization that this list is something that I feel compelled to do both frightens me to no end, and makes me really giddy. 

Because my birthday falls on the same week that most people have already given up on their New Years Resolution list, I took a challenge from Miss Elsie Flannigan and put together a 22 before 23 list last year, and can proudly say I did nearly everything on it. It's more of a goals list rather than resolutions, and that's something I can feel good about working at. 

Knowing it'll be here before I know it, and I'll be incredibly busy as soon as the New Year starts, I have started making my list today. 

I have such a sincere excitement about my list this year, but I'm a little freaked out about the number 24. 22 is my favorite number, and as of January 13th, it's over. And 23 is still a relatively "young" sounding age. Honestly, 24 freaks me a little. I think I'll warm up to it throughout the year though. Cross fingers for me (or just tell me to suck it up.). 

I have 6 things on my list, and 4 of them are conglomerate compounded goals. They make me smile real big.

Just sayin, you should probably look into making a goals list for yourself too; they keep me on track, and when I get bored and realize I have stuff to accomplish, I can refocus.

I am in love with my life. 

That's really all I have to say about that.

It's Been Quiet Here

I went home with the pups to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family & helped my dad put most everything together over mimosas. Swayze enjoyed chewing on wood while Dad built a fire, and TinTin crashed out in front of the fire and was the most content I've seen him in a few days. It was adorable how the fam took to Tin, and Tin to them - he laid right out on Dad's feet under the table for dinner. 

Sway also decided to maul my phone. Thankfully I have insurance so I got a replacement yesterday and up and running today. I hate starting over, there's just too much info to transfer over.

I watch a lot of Pitbulls & Parolees, Pit Boss, and Animal Cops. Channel 18 is on most of the day.

I'm half and half on the Nicki Minaj cd - it's good, because it's her, but it's also not as ... harsh? I guess? as I'd expected. There's a few gems, but there's definitely a bunch that fall real flat.

Had a raging headache since early Thursday morning so I missed Black Friday shopping, but I made up for it while online shopping. One gift away from having the whole family shopping finished.  Accomplished? You bet.

Gotta run errands after lunch.

I don't do a whole lot these days.

The Opposite of Nostalgia

Turns out there isn't a word for it.

I'm in a constant state of looking forward these days, because I'm not thrilled with the standstill I'm at right now, and there's so little I look back on and just pine for. 

There are things I miss - I miss Canterbury, I miss nights from Freshman year and nights from Senior year. I don't miss high school, I don't miss college itself, I don't miss much. 

I love post-grad.

But there's so much I look forward to, I can't wait for it to happen. 

I get happy because of things to come rather than things in the past. 

Currently, I'm sick of the rain / sleet / wind / gloom of Syracuse. 

I'm missing my camera and inspiration and creativity. 

I hate my hair cut and color, and I'm very seriously considering extensions. 

I just want to take pictures of pretty people, get some sun on my face, and to magically have my hair grow back.

I'm ready for a restart. 

Going to have to put the jump start on hold again, but more details on that in the near future. 

I can't complain, I'm just prenostalgic (yup, made my own word.)

"I wish I like ANYTHING as much as my kids like bubbles"

this is exactly what dreamers, schemers, artists and crazies need to hear. because it's all too easy to give up and become the person you've been running away from your whole life. 
-a commenter on Jeremy Larson's blog post, which you should read here 
 
I myself frequently question what I'm doing with my life. 
I went to art school. It's a scary and dangerous prospect to go to school for a profession that, unless you want to teach (I don't.), does not require a degree. At the very least, I gained the experience of how to speak to crowds and hold my own with peers in the business, but other than that (directly speaking to my core classes, of course, as this is not to downplay college itself, I wouldn't trade my four years for anything), a lot of my actual photo knowledge has been on-the-job experience and gigs where I have to wing it until I get it just right. To be fair, sure, school helped with that, I definitely graduated with Bullshit 101 Honors, but from the classes? The actual knowledge could be gotten from books and just talking to people (Neil, don't take this the wrong way if you're reading - I'm incredibly thankful for the insight and aid, but you know what I mean, right?). I spent a lot of money to own my own small business.

And I did. 7 months since graduation, and I own my own business.
When it's good, it's really good. I built up enough to take care of  myself through the early winter, but I won't get through February without more work, and where I'm at right now business-wise doesn't allow me to shoot as willingly as I'd prefer. 
 
It's scary. As hell.
I just made a huge investment, and I plan on moving out. Talk about scary bills to pay soon. 
I so often worry about the sacrifices I have to make to my art (and ultimately, my soul) in order to make ends meet. I couldn't dream of not working for myself anymore, and my sacrifices aren't to give up, but how much time I can commit to another job strictly for making money, with the hopes of not detracting from my own personal work. 
 
Did I mention this is scary? 
I'm 22. I'm going to be 23 in 2 months. I am so young in comparison to other people doing what I do, and I constantly worry about getting myself into debt already, or screwing up my credit, or making disastrous mistakes on IRS forms, EVERYTHING short of the art side of my business scares the hell out of me right now. 


I can't give up on my dreams. I want to be a glamorous photographer; I want to shoot nightlife and have those sorts of people in my life and be paid for having a good time; I want to try my hand at burlesque performing; I want to open a cafe / bar / gallery; I want to just make the places I want to hang out at a reality and make some money & a lifestyle from it. 
Unfortunately, all of this requires money. And I don't exactly have any. Not any I can just put away in savings and hope to use properly some time in the future. There's so much I want to jump in to right away, and between needing patience (I also don't have any of that...) and money, I know that can't happen.


Breathe. 
This post got a little out of control.
But, oh hey, I'm human and I have fears. So there they are. 
I want to be an artist. Performance, photographer, space designer, and a funployer for those who are like me, and just need someone else to have it set up for them to make it happen.

I need a part time job that doesn't interfere, and pays. 
Retail, here I come. 
(god that's heartbreaking.)

Mr. Swayze

Introducing the newest addition to my life, the terrier meets (german shepard? no one's sure.) puppy (although no one can tell us how old he is either...) Swayze!!

I'm so in love.

good story: on the way to pick him up, I Had The Time of My Life came on the radio right at the exit I needed to take to get him. Moments don't get much better than that.

As I'm not a morning person, he promises to make them quite early and tedious, but he's worth it by afternoon when he steals my heart again. 

Not a lot to update on until he gets a vet check up, but I'm smitten.

I love my little family ♥

Sure

I can't believe how much nothing I've done today. I didn't make breakfast or lunch. At best, I took a shower, updated/balanced my business account, and walked the dog. At worst, I sat on the couch and followed about a dozen tumblrs. I had pants on at one point, but they got wet on the walk, so now I'm back to sweats. That's how much nothing I've done.

I don't intend for my evening to be much more productive, although I will probably put on my eyeliner. 

1 day, 18 hours, and 44 minutes.

Surprises to come, lovelies!

Give it a LookSee

www.ShannaMcKayPhotography.com

it is completely revamp'd and updated - lemme know what you think!!

In other news, the dog is asleep on his back, all 4 legs sprawled out, and the cat is snoring on the couch next to me.
I love this life.

This Life

I have no news that isn't good. And the best news is still a surprise.

I have no good stories, I'm sorry there's nothing to update you on, but believe you me, the best is yet to come. 

Hope everyone had an amazing Halloween!

Best Week.

I have had such a productive and friend-filled week. 

I'm such a lucky kid.

And with Halloween this weekend, I can't ask for much more. 

I don't have much to say, because I'm too busy smiling.

Today, I hausfrau'd.

I made grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup for the sick kid for lunch, went to the bank and the grocery store, got foods and anti-sick supplies, and now I'm making an early dinner: pork chops, alfredo & shells, and mushrooms.

Hold your applause, this domestication may not last.

... but then again, it just might.

This Life

I am charmed, I need to say that first and foremost. 

My NYC trip was amazing. I'll be as brief as possible:

Jill & I left Tuesday morning & we were there much earlier than anticipated. Got great parking and settled into Tony's before he had to leave for class, and he got us on our way to Times Square, where we stood in line at the TCKTS booth for only about an hour altogether. We got ourselves 50% off excellent seat tickets (um row 7 anyone?) for American Idiot, and found a grill for lunch. I was having an anxiety attack about a multitude of things, but my burger settled me. We killed some more time on a beautiful day turning cold, and took a picture before the show. We were the 2nd and 3rd people in line, mainly because we had nothing better to do before the show started.

It was amazing. The energy was excellent, the song mastery was beautiful and hard all at the same time, and then I fell in love this one character's shoes. They were the boots of my dreams. I had a mission from that moment on for the rest of the week to find *those* boots.

After, we grabbed at pizza at John's which was right next door - I hadn't been there since high school. Headed back to Tony's and ultimately called it a night when Michael got out of work. Popped in Hedwig and the Angry Inch and passed out in a cuddle puddle on the pull out couch.

The next morning, Jill and I accompanied Mike to bagels at Ess-A-Bagel for breakfast, and then ventured to his apartment. In between, we had an excellent "faggot moment" where a construction worker yelled at another guy, then saw Mike, and promptly apologized. His apartment is cute & doesn't seem to be in an overly shitty location. His roommate's dog peed on me immediately. I seem to have that effect on dogs. Jill got a whole new wardrobe from Mike, and we made our way to the MoMA when Mike left for work. 

I adore the MoMA. It is thusfar my favorite place on the entire planet (and I've had a fair amount of travel that I can [for now] say that). Yoko Ono had an interactive piece and we caught a movie. All in all, a perfect day in a museum. I couldn't have asked for more (ok, I would have preferred if we were let in with our teas, but I suppose I understand.)

We grabbed Five Guys burgers for dinner and realized it was getting much too cold out, so we headed to Tony's campus, picked up his keys, and let ourselves into the apartment. A movie = nap time until the boys got home, and then the tequila happened. Ok, only to me, everyone else drank slightly less lighter-fluid flavored beverages. We went out to Picantes for their pitcher of margarita (aka pitcher of tequila with thismuch marg mix) & danced & toasted and made merry. I fell on the way home. I still blame the hole I fell in, but Jill would have you believe otherwise. 

Thursday was sleeping off an earned hangover, and I dragged all day with a migraine. Miss Manning joined us for the day, and even though it rained all day, we had success with Mike getting lunch at BlockHeads (mmm Mexican.) &  finding *the boots* of my dreams, right on budget and everything.

Giving up on the rain, and my wicked headache, we found ourselves back at Mike's, and me passed out by 730. Once they woke me up, my migraine had subsided just into a dullroar of a headache. Headed back Uptown, got Tony some juice, Mike a candybar, and Jill some Popeyes. Then we were on our way out to VIG27 for the Meaner Harder Leather burlesque show. I can't say enough good about it, it was such a stellar show. I've never seen such a good show in such a tiny venue. Stunning, for sure. 

Friday was spent getting lunch with Tony at a Halal truck (something I've never done before), and from the one claiming to be the best in the whole city. Can't go wrong there with some chicken and rice. Ohmygosh yum. 

Mike got trapped at work so we couldn't say goodbye, wicked bummer. Jill & I navigated our way home, and I only dropped one harsh curse at the traffic while she was on the phone with her boss....

Now I'm in Manlius, working on my website and optimizing photos and hangin with the pets. 

I have crazyexciting news, but I'm going to hold off on sharing for a bit - stay tuned!

I don't even know where to start

I intend a full update tomorrow on the crazyamazing week in NYC - in the meantime, I am falling in love all over again with the movie Cry Baby.  Terrible acting, beautiful time period.

And today is the last day I overindulge in ... mostly anything.

Grocery shopping tomorrow for some healthy stuff, and not going over budget. 

Gotta start watching the cash flow a little closer, and minimize my life a little.

Work Day

Dear Best Bagels In Town, 

Thank you for allowing me to use your dining area as my personal editing office all day while I waited on two cars to get inspected and oil-changed across the street. Your egg and cheese on a bagel for breakfast was delicious, and your soup bread bowl for lunch was more than filling.

I successfully got entirely caught up on all of my photo editing thanks to your outlets. 

See you next time the car needs mainenance,

Shanna

Dear Paladino,

Good job. Your speech yesterday successfully put any voter on the fence with a gay family member, friend, or just with good old fashioned equality and humanist values in line to vote for Cuomo. Take your bigoted narrow minded and hateful views, and vamoos. New York doesn't need you.

No love, and feel free to rot, 

Shanna.

I Love

... Laid back Sundays.

Today I attended a less than thrilling wine tasting benefit, painted my nails shiny silver, edited baby pictures and oh yeah died my hair a color I've never gone before:

Best defined as "as close to black as brown gets" with violet undertones (that I can't see yet, so I think she was lying).

She also gave me an a-symmetrical cut. Did I ask for it? No. Did she do it on purpose? Probably not. 

Again, less than thrilled, so let's just pretend it was cut that way for style.

(This is my disapproving duck face.)

I'm going to waste my night in my warm bed (I've been frozen for 3 days. I know it's only 7pm. Don't judge me.) & peruse a whole mess of fantastic new tumblrs I stumbled upon.

Yesterday I

- edited senior yearbook photos, emailed them, and made a follow up call to the school

- Shot 2 new seniors

- made 3 different bank deposits

- went grocery shopping (followed by waiting in line for 15 minutes. ridiculous.)

- attempted to visit EDropp at work & had the worst iced coffee ever.

- did the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, and folded said laundry

- made a salad and home made chex mix (which is beyond delish.)

- downloaded, LightRoom edited, and made proof sheets of the 2 new seniors

- and still managed to have a nice dinner with my family and get to bed at a decent hour

because today is just as full, but a bit more on the casual side. 

Rescheduled shoot with baby Harper in an hour,

hair appointment and a wine tasting tomorrow should round my weekend out just delightfully.

Hope everyone elses' weekend is busy and happy and allows for weather enjoyment as well.

=)

Love Letters to my Life

Can I just say - I am exhausted.

Dear Immune System,
I recognize the weather has been touchy and inconsistent, and in general, much chillier as of late, and that the clothes I choose tend to be useless against keeping me warm. I recognize I don't sleep enough. I am also well aware that I am not drinking enough water, but can you please just settle for a vanilla chai or warm cider IV drip instead? I am not feeling 100%, but I don't feel sickly yet, so there's no time to slow down. Please keep up the relatively good work with my poor self-preservation skills and get me through the next few months of tough work.
Sincerely,
Shanna's Acute Sense of Approaching Deadlines.

Dear Headache I've Had On and Off For Three Days Now,
I have work to do that requires my eyes be open, so hurry up and stop making me sooo sensitive to the light. I already want to nap all day as it is, so knock it off.
Thank you kindly,
Shanna's Professional Side.

Dear CV Seniors I Photographed Saturday,
Thank you for being an insanely good looking couple, and a lot of fun to work with. Also, thank you for not trying to haggle my prices or my professionalism. It would be just the best ever if you'd get back to me sooner with your yearbook photo choices so that I don't run out of time to get them to your yearbook editor.
Thanks for being awesome so far,
Cheers,
Shanna McKay Photography.

Dear Vista Print,
Thank you for shipping my order "early!". I'm aware that there is an "I take full responsability for typos" disclaimer before I order, but it would be really cool if you'd just get SpellCheck. I miss being at school where one of my roommates would have caught the typo before I ordered. Thanks for printing my misspelled gift certificates so promptly.
Not so lovingly (even though it's my fault),
Shanna McKay Photography c/o No Second Reader Assistant.

Dear Toby,
You are already so sincerely missed. Such a good fluff, someone upstairs must have needed a good snugglebuddy and just couldn't wait anymore. I appreciate your passing before I was left alone in this country with you, as I wouldn't have known what to do with myself, let alone you. However, I'm completely disheartened that you've left such a wonderful family without an important member. Hope you're happy and pain-free, where ever you are.
Love and belly-rubs,
The House Sitter.

and finally,

Dear Rylee Faith,
Welcome. I'm so happy to finally meet you. You've got all your fingers and toes, and you couldn't have more excited parents if you tried. You've got every opportunity to have an amazing life, with all the love and support you've been born into. I'm sorry we've made this planet, with all of it's eco-destroying disasters and broken governments, into a bit of a 1984 caricature, but I promise that my generation is going to do its best to put it back together for people like you. I hope you grow up to be open minded, smile a lot, and take care of your mommy and daddy. I'll help, as often as I possibly can, to be sure you do.
All my loving Little One,
Cousin (but want to be called something cooler) Shanna.

It's been a crazy week already.
Life just keeps happening.
This is certainly going to be an Autumn for the history books. 

Accountant

Whew. The last 48 hours have been refreshing. I don't know if it's the neon pink on my freshly pedicured tonenails or all the rain we got yesterday that just makes me feel renewed. Hello October, I've missed you all year. This is hands down my December, my yearly start over, Halloween is my New Years. I always feel refreshed (isn't spring supposed to do that? oh well, I've never been average).

Anyway, yesterday I took the day off because Jer and the baby had doctor appointments and we are going to reschedule the newborn shoot. I enjoyed the rainy afternoon getting a mani/pedi with my mama (first pedi ever... don't really think I'll be needing another one too soon - I just don't like people touching me much... although she did a fabulous job), and finishing up all of my mailing for the recent shoots. 

Today I met with the accountant I've been in contact with, and we talked for almost a full 2 hours; we talked business, where I start, how much my tax % should be / what I should be putting away in savings for tax season, how she thinks I have a good niche product and an unfulfilled market, where to pursue more clientele & shooting locations, how being cute and polite isn't a strong marketing plan but to never take it for granted as a tool, and generally that she thinks I'm doing a-ok. She doesn't think I have any reason to think otherwise. 

This, obviously, makes me nervous.

I love when people believe in my plans, I just get... worried sometimes. Like I'm going to let them down or something.

Worries aside, it was a really good first meeting, and she just told me to keep things in order and get ahold of her closer to tax season, and call whenever I have a question. Sounds like a plan.

In non-biddness related news, my best best best friend got engaged this morning <3 I couldn't be happier and I'll be meeting her and the beau out for drinks this evening to celebrate!!

This weekend is going to be a whirlwind. I needed the few days to myself to sort of gather and steady, but hold on to your hats, there's no stopping me now.

Someone Be Proud of My Awesome.

someone tell me how to save this to my computer now, pretty please?

(amazing photo setup by Miss Manning)

Why you won't be hearing from me much in the near future:

Today: Shoot in Deposit

Tomorrow: Shoot for Joe

Wednesday: Shoot for Dad

Thursday: Baby pictures of Harper Ryan & Jer

Friday: Meeting with accountant, dinner with Katie&Scott

Saturday: 2 Senior shoots, edits due the 8th

Sunday: Shoot for Joe

Monday-Thurs: Pick up TinTin before 11am, move into the OlinAm household for a few days til Julie comes home, and basically hole up and edit & update my website and senior shots and everything else I shot this week before Thursday afternoon

Fri (the 8th): 2 more Senior shoots, edits due the 15th

October is looking just as full, with one excellent 5 day NYC vacation that I think I more than deserve at this point with some of my favorite (and most fabulous) people.

I'm going to be doing all I can to work hard, save money, stay focused, and sleep as much as possible to keep myself from getting sick because I clearly have no time to take off. 

Keep checking in, you know I can never stay away for long.

Productivity

My computer hates me today. 

Too many things on the screen at once, itunes blaring, nothing backed up on my harddrive yet. 

Just trying to get everything caught up by Sunday, so that Monday can start the week of shooting every single day, for Dad, Joe, myself, and being able to get everything done this week out in the mail right away. 

I have today until 3:30, some of Saturday, and all Sunday to print Achieve, finish ALL the edits for the Mr. USofA, burn cds, mail envelops, and prep myself for a crazy 3 straight weeks of shooting, editing, mailing on deadlines, and house sitting. 

No complaining, just mildly overwhelming. 

I'm coming to terms with it all, and I kind of can't wait to see where it all goes.

Idol.

Today was sort of fantastic. 

(Understatement.)

I'll give you the abridged version: My hometown photog idol, Lindsay Adler, needed an assistant today for her photoshoot with ClearChannel radio dj's, and I just so happen to be friends with her cousin, and even longer story shorter, I was available and she said I could help. 

Weeeeee!!!!

It wasn't paid (as far as I'm aware...?) but it included a full day of hands on education and lunch at Tullys. 

Long day, zero complaints.

She was so down to earth but fully aware of how talented she is and totally willing to share her insights and knowledge that she's gained (homegirl's been taking classes since she was 13!! and is basically living my dream at 3 years older than me, having just moved out of Owego and in to NYC. Gives me hope, so much hope). We got along really well, and she said when she does a local fashion shoot, she's definitely going to call me up for help so I can check it out for real, as today was more commercial.

Amazing day. I'm a nerd, and a fangirl, and just totally stared and soaked it all in. 

Made some friends, and can't wait for more in the future. 

And all last minute as of like 930 last night ha

How productive was your Thursday?

Sad Days

Everyone's allowed a sad day right? 

Whether for a good reason, or just a day for feeling awful about everything and anything?

Yesterday was my sad day.

Today is anything but.

Last day of the small business class, and I'm having a great hair day. Those two factors alone make today worlds better than yesterday.

(Yes, this was taken in a bathroom. Sue me, good light, I'm vain, whatever.
PS it was all curled and pinned up and '50s esque til it rained on me... these things happen.)
On top of that, I am getting sushi after class and taking a seafood free Cali roll to Jer, who successfully popped out a beautiful healthy baby girl last night (<3), followed by a gym run with Casey later tonight when she gets out of work. 

I am spending my lunch break at Lost Dog Cafe, where they are having a spectacular lunch special on my favorite 3-course entree for $8, and all the free WiFi to my heart's content.

Can't play online any longer though, this is a working lunch break so I can Photoshop a few more pictures from the Mr. USofA (they're all spectacular, if I do say so myself...)

Hope everyone got their sad days out of the way early in the week too; 

the rest of this week is looking up.

When won't it hurt anymore?

Just a very frustrating morning. 

I have no room or reason to complain with life, I recognize that, just some things hurt more than others and get me down and then I can't shake them.

No breakdown yet, but I feel one coming on.

Just started getting really busy, both with the business and some side work.

I'm not overwhelmed, just jaded feeling.

Bear with me, I'll be back to normal sooner than later (I hope).

In other news, I have some great shots from the Mr. USofA show at Trexx, and I can't wait to share them but there's an ungodly amount. Today I'm just plowing through the raw footage.

I don't want to think, so thank you LightRoom for being so user friendly and zone-out-able.

Oh me.

This has been the biggest week of learning experiences ever [since Canterbury.]

Caz, you did not prepare me. 

Ok, rather, you tried, but then real life happened, and I sort of used a theory of good will and best intentions over "get a contract," "acquire directions, then make sure they didn't change first thing the morning of event," "look up product specifications first," and of course "being a sole proprietor does not mean you need to set up payroll" (Ok, you didn't even remotely prepare me for the last, but I learned it, nonetheless.)

Good week? I wouldn't define it as such.

Bad week? Well no not that either.

I got to see her, I got to learn a whole lot about taxes without paying, and I did invest in a brand new beaut of a lens. 

Does the lens fit? No. 

Did I fenangle a way to make it work, and then devise a way to sell it again in the near future for one that does fit? Yes. 

So far, tomorrow is intended to be a far better day and the start to a far better week.

I'd wish you all good luck for the same, but I need my luck right now. 

I hope you understand.

Discoveries!!

Today's post brought to you by Totally Rad Actions.

So, for starters: go here. They make amazing PS actions to make your photos look like those wicked amazing wedding photographers photos online and you go "huh... I have a great shot here... but my pictures don't all pop like that! I want that!" -- ok, I get like that at least.

With that out of the way, I must say, the actions that you get for the price sort of blow my mind. I don't have $150 lying around to invest in them (sooo anyone wanting to spoil me for Christmas....) but I definitely see how a few of these actions could cut my editing time in half. A few of them do one-over bundled-package edits that otherwise take me hours, such as motion blurs, perfect black and whites, and just general sharp contrasty things. And those are just the usual things! There are neat actions that make photos look solid vintage, all little moves I have trouble getting just right because it's not like we were ever taught to make things look fun... just how to look "right." 

Having actions would make my workload come out looking uniform, something I've noticed I struggle with, so I'm thrilled that there are a few free samples on the site for me to dick around with until I can afford the whole set. 

Thank you, once again Miss Elsie, for showcasing an amazing product to make my life a little easier and a lot cleaner looking.

In other news, I'm playing all around with Eliz's photos anddddd I booked a whole bunch of mini shoots for Joe and gah! This photo life... it happens! It's mine! 

Finally, because my bank account was getting.... rather dangerously low.

Day 1

I thought graduating meant never having to take a 9am class again, but in the efforts of even higher education, I found myself back in a classroom from 9-430 with an hour lunch smack in the middle. 

At least I was cute. 

(although my hair has gotten rather out of control progressively through the day)

Talk about information overload - half of the stuff was super basic, steps I already knew, learned, or even accomplished. The other half was stuff that either didn't apply (complete BOP insurance doesn't apply to me as I don't own or rent realestate yet) orrrr went over my head such as when the two bankers talked (at 10am... I mean really, what do you expect me to absorb before noon? Speakers should always be after lunch.) -- my grogginess aside, they might as well have been speaking Spanish because equity, collateral, and all that jazz was just some head talking making noise to me. I wish I understood it, but I can't say I really did (and I consider myself a pretty smart kid, so believe you me, it pained me to not totally understand even after questions were asked). 

I did manage to talk to them after they talked, and explained how I have little debt (less than $500 on a credit card) but I have no equity such as a mortgage or even a car payment right now... if I want or need a loan for studio space in the near future, would I still be able to get one? The short answer is yes, the long answer involves preparing a business statement & market plan (in the works anyway) and sit down with an accountant and the bank.

Side note on the class - I think I am the youngest, next youngest appearing to be a grad student taking the class in order to solidify a grant for solar panel research (awesome.) and the rest all seemed to be middle aged and either tired of working in their chosen profession for someone else, are retired and want a small independent income, need the class to qualify for aid/grants, or simply have a dream and need the help mapping it out. 

I have the advantages of not having my own family or locational ties, looming student loan debt, or, well, a mortgage. I also feel like I'm a little ahead of the curve when it comes to marketing (no matter how much I fret, at least I'm fretting - some people in the class have given it no thought) and PR. 

All good news. 

I hope next Wednesday is just a little more comprehensive on the topics I really need to know at this stage in the game (an accountant is speaking, so my hopes are already high). 

Such a long day though, I totally deserve a nap.

What did you do today to justify your nap?

Biddness

I start the small business class I signed up for Wednesday morning (ha! schooling! go figure. I just want to know stuff.). Tomorrow is dedicated to working on my branding and wrapping up the last of old biddness (mail the wedding [just got the address Sunday], edit Erica's home photos, and edit Eliz's preggers shoot so I can finalize photos for my website). 

I was reading a post on Promise Tangemen's blog (she's amazing, fyi, so check her out for more than her recent post please) and realized I don't know where to start with creating my own vision, but the last thing I want to do is copy someone else's branding visions; I need to figure out where to start for myself. 

I have the following intentions:

- doodle. & dick around with fonts because I'm a typography nerd.

- go through some old business notes from class (just in case I missed something).

- Flip through my misc folder on my computer, containing every inspirational photo I've stumbled upon in the last 2 years, and see if they've got correlations I can work with.

- Go through the 3 questions list my SB councilor gave me to establish a "business plan foundation" so I have somewhere to really start.

...and I need to optimize about 45 photos at least so I can finally update my website. She's a struggling corner of the web, to say the least. 

I'll be working hard, it's a Tuesday, those are my non-photo-taking biddness days, and I need to champ it. 

Here's to motivation!

In other news, I've become obsessed with Craigslist, just perusing.

In other other news, Laur & Christine just adopted the cutest baby barn cat piece of fluff ever yesterday. Romeo Moolenschot. He's a stud. 

Epic.

I'm going to give you the briefest of stories on such an epic night, as best as I can. 

Read set go:

Last night started with 630 sushi and bubble tea with Kevy, Mikey, Zoe, and Jill - it was Kev & Zo's "going away party" that, if I wasn't home, was being thrown for them by them and attended by them alone. Kev is traveling cross country couch surfing and Zo is headed to China for one of those teaching position things. 

Post soosh, Jill and I headed down town Bing for the end of the Art Walk before the galleries closed. We caught some good lookin assemblage pieces and visited with Ethan at The Cube (where we also gathered some little gifts for a future Kate M.F. Sculley care package). 

From State St we wandered back to Lost Dog for an appetizer and "a drink" with Miss ElBotting that I hadn't sat and and caught up with since high school. She's still a hoot. Several drinks later, along with her friend Ann (Anna? I don't remember exactly), Jill and I were going to just go home, but we were coaxed into going to Tranquil, an outskirts of the city bar that I'd never been to, and they were clearly regulars. 

Tranquil is located right behind Binghamton Met's Stadium, and because it was Friday, there were fireworks. They were fantastic and the night was so beautiful - not buggy, or too hot, or even too cold, just a clear night with fireworks. ElBot stole me a wicked cute tiny salt shaker, and bought a pitcher of Yuengling. We grabbed a table outside and enjoyed the night and continued to catch up on everyone we remember from high school. Tony text'd and wanted to join us. 

I don't remember how it happened or how it came up, but out of no where we all decided that we'd never been a strip club, yet two were right up the road from us. Therefore, we grabbed Tony and hit up Tzers and Madame Oar's. Free for us, and even though we played the gay boy card, he still had to pay $10. The actual pole dancing was really impressive, but the girls... pass. Mostly butterfaces as far as I could tell. El & Ann got motorboated, and Tony complained that the girls' "straddles" could and should be a lot better if they just stretched every day. 

From there, El dropped me off at my car back downtown, and I was going to just take Tony home but I realized it was going on 3am and I was starving. While heading to The Spot, I got pulled over on Front Street. I knew I wasn't speeding, so I was completely unthrilled by the situation. The very polite officer told me my headlight was out. Awesome. 

After a series of super unforuntate events, I awaited his return to my car with my information, and the streetlights are hitting my windshield just enough for me to see a big ol spider crawling across my windshield (rather quickly actually) towards my open window. As quick as I could, I turned my car back on and did my best to hurry the automatic window up, but to no avail. I'm already concerned that the Officer probably thinks I'm trying to drive off by how fast I whipped my car back on, but now I'm geeking out that there's a great big spider somewhere in and around my area of the car... and I'm in a skirt (with an earlier situation going unmentioned for couth). 

Now the Officer is at my window, and I have to quickly explain what just happened - all I really get out is 'Iamsosorrybutnowthere'sahugespiderinmycarthatjustcrawledinthroughthewindow!!!' and, I kid you not, the Officer leaped back away from my car like the spider was about to get him. My geeking was obviously worthwhile. Thankfully, he just gave me a "fix it in 24 hours" ticket and ignored the fact that I clearly had other issues last night.

Angry that I got a ticket just for trying to feed myself, I continued to the diner with the kids anyway even though I'd completely lost my appetite by now. Tony and Jill sensually ate fries. They shared some moments. It was adorbs. 

Took Tony home and promptly called it a night (morning?) by 330-4ish. Slept for about 4 hours and took my car to deal with the headlight before the post office closed this afternoon. Went back to sleep for a bit, then got Applebees & trounced around the JC Field Days for about 10 minutes. Today's for taking it easy. 

So, recap for those of you who didn't read all that: sushi, bubble tea, ta ta for now's, art, booze, drove El's car, more booze, stolen salt shaker, fireworks, reminiscing, Tony, strippers, pulled over, one spider that is no more thrilled it's trapped in my car than I am, no real ticket, egg and cheese on a bagel, and sleepytime. 

Saw a free Lady Antebellum concert on Thursday, just by the way. It had perks, but the experience was rough til the actual concert. However, I did win a Domo, making up for the Aerosmith concert / Fair sitch.

I might post pictures later, but there isn't a whole lot to share.

Too busy making memories than to take pictures.

Hope you're making some good early fall memories too.