I need to organize my life again

Here I am again, sitting in an empty house I have no claim to other than my dog, who is hellbent on not letting me sit still. I sincerely look forward to the days when he no longer requires my constant supervision.

Here's the general outlook for the following week:

Craigslist at least twice a day, once in the am and once after lunch to try and find applicable jobs that I don't have to lie about myself to get the job done. The hardest part about this is that I keep finding things I know I can do, but I either don't know how to say "Hi, I won't be there til February but I am damn good at what I do!! Please hire me and trust that waiting is the best answer!" or I am too chickenshit to believe someone might actually be willling to wait for a too-good-to-be-true job, so I just don't want to bother. I want to be on the hunt for jobs now, but I kind of know no one is going to hire a month out, other than internships. I realize it's also pretty futile as I can't do interviews until the last week of January as it is.

Then I have to attend to the pups; the one I'm housesitting for now will be referred to as Snaggle, because she's rather cute other than this CRAZY snaggletooth on her bottom set that juts out over her lip in an underbite fashion. It would be adorable and endearing if it wasn't so scary first thing in the morning when she's staring at me from my pillow that she somehow always manages to confiscate in my sleep.

In any other time, I'm reworking resumes, cover letters, my web site, the order of my professional experience, keeping the house tidy from antics and general clutter, and Craigslisting apartments, also something I can't commit to until February, but it's nice to see my options dwindle ahead of time. At least I'm getting an idea of how much money I don't have that I need in order to move in, let alone sustain myself at. On the bright side, I find I don't miss tv.

I have no problem taking an internship, I would absolutely love hands on experience in a less-stressful situation such as an internship, but the problem is that most are unpaid. And, in the biggest stretch of chance I actually get one, how do I expect to jet to NYC and start that, without knowing how I'll make and save any money. It's one thing to know you'll only be there for the summer & you can plan accordingly, but I barely have my feet under me. I feel like I need to find part time work, then a possible internship (oh holy mother of hell, Swayze just found a squeak toy of Snaggle's that sounds like he is straight up murdering a small animal and it is screaming for its life. Scared the pants off me just now. /random tangent) -- I know getting any job is better than nothing, but I always worry that more than one place will want me, and then what? God, how cocky is my chickenshit subconscious?? Honestly.

On more personal notes, I dyed my hair and it's awful. I haven't had such a disaster since the "blond incident" of freshman year. I am letting it fade a few days so I don't torch it to death, and then promptly fixing it. I'd say before New Years, as to not cause myself public embarrassment on a night out, but at the moment I will not be going out, as I have no one to go out with me. Great dress, brand new 6 inch platform pumps, and no where to go. I am also working on my 23 before 24 list, and being pissy about buying groceries. 

I'm a little out of touch, distant, and grouchy these days. I'm not sure if it's the stress or the weather or the sheer lack of feeling anything stable, but I'll try to cheer up. I had intended to keep this blog for only the positive bright side of my life, but, well, we can't have everything.

Cross some fingers for me that something, anything will pan out for my New Year? I promise to do the same for you.

If that god awful toy wasn't keeping him so entertained, I'd throw it out. He would like the most irritating toy in the house.