Tuesday, December 29

Creepin

Got to Hannah's too early today (traffic wasn't horrible, streets weren't too dangerous, and my gps actually worked! who'da thunk? So the extra hour and half of travel time I included were entirely unnecessary) so I'm just creepin on her computer.

Cannot wait for dinner with my lovers tonight in Rochester.
Also sounding like there's a dinner with the HomeLovies tomorrow night for our gift exchange (must pick something up tonight) - I've missed everyone so much!!

Sunday, December 27

PS



Went to a most wonderful Christmas party thrown by the Jarvis Family & Miss Gracie Lou - I've missed these kids so so much (including Caroline's boyfriend Nick, who hid for the goofy picture) and it had only been about a week of break from them. This is hands down the hardest break from school of all time. Only one semester left, I'm mentally geeking out and trying my best to keep it all together.

Show me whatcha got

(image-heavy - you've been warned)
Happy post-Holidays everyone!!
I know Christmas is a lot of people's favorite holidays, and I don't mean to come off all Grinchy, but Christmas exhausts me and honestly causes quite a bit of stress for me - I rarely just enjoy the holiday. Presents to me don't matter much, what I give other people and seeing my family are what matters most to me for the holidays.

That being said, Photobooth gift time! These are shameless self portraits, as I curled my hair for the first time since cutting it, and it holds rather nice -- the lightness of my layers must have a lot to do with it.
Bracelet from the Doyle family
Perfume from my love <3
Canon 10D (used, but now mine) from my Daddy
Along with a "big bitchin lens" - it's the size of my head!!?
The Elsie*cake 2010 calendar from Mommy
21+1 is so soon! I don't want to grow up but...
when you do, you get to buy Christmas gifts for yourself - tequila was a gift to me (it was a giftset with a flask! How do you pass that up!?) and the Capt'n is from my bff Miss Katie Sann.

What wonderfulness did you all find under the tree? And I hope everyone had family, friends, and good food & drink for their holidays. I've been internetMIA so I need to now go catch up on everyone else.

I've also officially decided to become a red lipstick wearer full time. I feel like this is a lifestyle change.

Last night was date night with my love. We've been really rough lately (a lot of which was holiday stress and my fault for bottling up so much for so long) but we're going back to the way we used to be, not rushing anything and enjoying the *now* together. I have too many plans and goals for the new year that we needed to prioritize what we were looking to do together.Nosebleed seats? Huge beers? Awesome guys singing the Canadian National Anthem & cheering in perfect unison next to us? Each other? It was a delightful date night indeed, much like we used to and stopped doing. Many many more date nights in the new year.

So looking forward to this new year, I can't even contain my enthusiasm for everything. I'll end up doing a meme or a list of some sort in the very near future I'm sure. That will all have to come after I hang out with Jill tonight, Casey tomorrow, Hannah Jill Stacy and Ashley Tues-Weds, Dan&Bri (the boy and I are cooking them dinner) on Weds night, my cousin Lexi on Thursday, and all of my hometown*loves on New Years Eve. Packed week with all of my favorite people, I couldn't be more thrilled!!

Monday, December 21

New Hairs

I dyed my hair on Friday.. and I've gotta say, I was not thrilled at first. The reds were blazin cartoon red, and the blond (which was supposed to be light brown) was bleach blond.
I have since let it fade a few days and styled it myself, and I think I'm finally warming up to it.


I'm finishing Christmas shopping today and visiting my high school. It's going to be a strange one, folks.

Thursday, December 17

Roomie*Love

Miss Manning got me fingerless lace gloves (gotta love Etsy) for christmas, they are beautiful, I am on cloud nine, I've wanted a pair for like a year now and I couldn't find a decent pair anywhere. Hand-made trumps all

Just got done with my last final - everything went so smoothly afterall. I need a shower, 3day coma, a big meal, & a cold beer. Then I can start up again with being a decent human being.

Have a wonderful winter break!
Miss my loves already <3

Monday, December 14

Almost there


My 21 pages of capstone are done. All that needs to be finished is one last proofread & printing.
One 5page paper (& getting my powerpoint to finally work) left for Tony {Weds}
10+page paper and ppt for Pepper {Weds}
Large Format is all printed & awesome and ready {Thurs}
and all that's left for jewelry is to buff my treasure chest {Thurs}

Moving into a different room in the suite tomorrow night / Weds after Casey leaves ((My roomie grew up too fast and graduated early on Friday)).
Staying busy, with just enough time to procrastinate in between without having a heart attack.

I am so thankful for my roomies and photoloves, they have kept me sane and "focused" and happy during this ridiculously stressful semester.
I'm looking forward to a nice long break, with family, cocoa, naps, boyfriend, besties, and drag queens.
I'm not looking forward to leaving my photoloves, I don't function well without them.

Sunday, December 13

That is all

Monday, December 7

Success!

Saturday went so well, above and beyond what I'd expected.
I reconnected with a lot of people I haven't talked to in ages, got 3 contact phone numbers, and set up plans to shoot 2 of them later in December / January over break. I couldn't be happier or more excited about this project.

I intend to shoot a frame within a frame within the frame of the picture itself. I can't wait to see how that plays out with my thesis of the uniforms we wear and the layers of acting we use every day before we're truly ourselves. I'm looking for the intimate experience with my models. They can really use the headshots too, so everyone wins.

I'm absolutely shooting Miranda (aka Jordan) as soon as possible, so I'm shooting for the week after Christmas. New Years is on a Thursday, I am definitely thinking I'm going to be hitting up Trash Thursday (the Merlin's drag show) that night.
In other news, I turned in my prints for Tony's final for stacked studio today. I'm thrilled with the shots, I'm not thrilled with the rest of the project requirements because the computers in the a&d were completely shitting on my powerpoint and crashing entire computers left and right. I have to get a working copy to him (and the 5 page paper) asap. I'll post those pictures as soon as a computer stops hating me enough to let me save them as jpgs (silly Blogger won't let me upload tiff.s)

Finals are rolling, 1 week of classes, 1 week of finals.
I'm oddly not nervous yet. I was last week but.. not anymore. That'll probably change tomorrow, but for now, I'm going to just bask in the warm glow of calm for as long as I can.

Saturday, December 5

Take 2

Round 2 tonight.
I feel much better about Thursday night after getting some reassuring emails.
Meeting with Cindy went wonderfully.
I'm nervous all over again, but I'm not allowed to show it. That's my homework.

Friday, December 4

Well that was disenchanting.
Let's hope Saturday goes stellar+
or else I may be SOL all over again.

Tuesday, December 1

Senior Project

I have struggled immensely with keeping up motivation and enthusiasm with this project all semester. Part of this, I'm sure, is because I couldn't get people to stay committed and/or coordinate schedules properly (I have been gogogo for 3 straight months, let's be honest). That's where I get frustrated with the studio art kids - as a photographer, I have to work around so many other people's schedules to get my final product; I can't just sit in my room late at night and work consistently, it is just not an option unfortunately.

I have had more trouble getting started than I ever imagined. I've changed my intended project at least three times, without starting any of them enough to care about keeping the idea and found myself becoming bored with the idea before I ever even set it in motion.

Recently however, I determined that drag queens/kings was the direction I needed to take. I was completely unsure about how to make progress with it or even start, but I finally got the necessary answers: I have a solid "leader" contact that can connect me with a minimum of half the well-known drag queens in the Central New York area. I have her phone number and an in to the bar this week in order to talk with her before the show. My mind is slightly blown.

I have a pro contact meeting with Cindy on Friday, in which I hope she embraces my plan and can overlook that I have no work to show other than all of the leg work associated with finding subjects and a point of view.

On Saturday, I have a completely different drag queen meeting - a benefit for Toys for Tots where I am supposed to be introduced to several of the premier Binghamton queens, which is wonderful since I have no intentions of frequent travel to Syracuse during my winter break. Two locations is far better than just one.

This means I have tomorrow to call Frita, Thursday to go to the bar and chitchat some business with her, Friday to meet with Cindy, and Saturday to have yet another contact meeting. I'm taking Sunday and Monday to do solid Pepper paper and capstone paper work, and Tuesday is a coffee meeting with an independent Syracuse photographer (she's in one of Kim Waale's figure drawing classes and Kim set us up on a little interview date thing - I'm quite looking forward to it).

Of course now I have too much finals work to commit to serious capstone work, but it's such a big start I don't even care.
I am finally motivated.
Only took all semester.

Monday, November 30

Reverse Want Ad

Looking for: multiple odd jobs (preferably with benefits, although not required) including:
-late night radio dj (preferably non-ClearChannel bound)
-new-release movie critic (mainstream and indie) (pay must include beverage and popcorn per movie)
-snarky satirical movie dubber (read: RiffTrax / Mystery Science Theater 3000)
-freelance photographer for portraits, weddings, and commercial work
-bartender for a gay bar/club (bar must have regular drag show nights)

Too much to ask? I'm sure they all exist, I just want them all simultaneously.

Sunday, November 22

Bummer

I have not been wanting to update, as I have been in rough spirits lately, and I don't see the need to update you on my being a grumpy bitch.

When I cheer up, you'll hear from this snarky blogger right away lovlies

Wednesday, November 18

Gavin & Caitlin


Gavin & Caitlin
Originally uploaded by Shanna McKay

Photos are up from my recent attempts at the Large Format camera. They aren't wonderful, but I'm pleasantly pleased with a few of them. Wish they weren't showing up so dark, they certainly don't look it in photoshop - we'll see.

Friday, November 13

For Elsie

I read Elsie's blog daily for a serious dose of inspiration. I couldn't help myself from trying to help her out with a tasty allergy-free (at least the 3 I saw noted) delight.

Non Dairy Non Bakers Yeast Non Soy Red Velvet Cupcakes:

2 cups non-dairy, non-soy milk (like almond milk, rice milk, oat milk, hazelnut milk, hemp milk, etc. wegmans has all of these)
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa powder (use a not-too-dark one, like hersheys, so the red color can come through)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup vegetable oil
2 ounces red food coloring
4 teaspoons vanilla extract

-preheat oven to 350, line a 22 cupcake cups with liners (2 trays, or cut recipe in half for 11-12 cupcakes)

* Add vinegar to milk, and set aside to curdle, to achieve a buttermilk effect. The vinegar helps with leavening- don't worry, you can't taste it!
* Sift flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl.
* Add vegetable oil, food coloring, and vanilla extract to the curdled milk, and mix.
* Pour liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients, and mix.
* Fill cupcake liners ¾ full.
* Bake in a preheated 350° oven for 20 minutes or until done.

Now the frosting is a little trickier. What you have to do is go to Wegmans and find Earth Balance brand dairy free soy free margarine. Then you can sub it for the butter and shortening in any buttercream frosting recipe (you'll also probably need some powdered sugar, vanilla, and a few drops of liquid).

A good friend of mine is a vegan with a penchant for organic treats, and she's always got righteous recipes on her blog here and there.
Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 11

Photo Student



I need to shoot more. All of these papers and readings are really draining me of any inspiration. The professors say the more we read the more we'll understand our own work, but I'm just feeling jaded and drained. I cannot wait to shoot fashion stuff tomorrow, I'm hoping it revs me up for NYC on Sunday. If I could logically take the LF camera to the city with me, I totally would, but that's a near impossibility. I complain about carrying a purse all day, imagine the crankiness that would come from that camera?

I have dreams of fine art, China Town, my action sampler toy camera, and fish bowls.

Wednesday, November 4

I think I'm going to need to start working on my next Tony presentation. No, it's not due til December, and yes I have more important things to be working on, but I'm in serious fashion shoot withdrawal (which, ps, is a stupid looking word).

I don't at all want to work with fashion students, I just want to dress up some pretty girls in the studio and go to town. I'm tired of trying to make a statement; the world needs pretty pictures too. Magazines wouldn't still be around if it didn't.

I think I have a project for Tony that'll fit the bill so I'm not totally wasting my time (although my port would beg to differ) -- I just fell out of love with my Rebel and I fell out of love with the studio, then entered a serious "fuck you all" relationship with the fashion department.

But that doesn't mean I can't have a flagrant affair with Hannah's 5d & the new lighting equiptment, right right?

Tuesday, November 3

Caz Portraits for Large Format






They all have their little stories, I love them even with their flaws. I intend to only get better =)

Monday, November 2

There's no such thing as "down time"

So basically all I'm saying is if you didn't come see Rocky Horror, you missed out on one hell of a floor show...

Kate Sculley came to visit for the week! It was delightful only I'm sad I couldn't legitimize more time with her because I was too busy catching up on everything I fell behind with the week of the show. We did, however, build a fort:
For Halloween, a bunch of us attended Dr. Sanders' Halloween party and it was comfortably laid back and drama free. I wish I could say I had a good Halloween but... I just couldn't get past all of the little things that went wrong that day / night, and I couldn't lighten back up. By the time we were ready to go to the bar, I was ready to just call it a night.

I loved my costume though - I was a pinup and Kyle was... well.. he was supposed to be something that matched sort of (originally I'd wanted him to be a Teddy Boy but let's be honest, if you're not into it, there's really no faking it) and he ended up looking like a butler instead:
But hey, we're still pretty cute.

Today I have to get a lot of typing done for Capstone and Pepper and make my schedule and generally a whole bunch of things that involve sitting in front of my computer all day, so there's clearly only one thing I can do:

Watch a Kevin Smith movie marathon.
The order of events:
Clerks 1
Mallrats
Chasing Amy
Dogma
Clerks 2

I do not own Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back or Jersey Girl, nor do I someday hope to. I like my Kevin Smith classic, 90s, and unpretentious.

I'm thinking I'll put up one more post, probably later today, with the work I've been doing lately for Large Format. I like it, I'm pretty proud of it actually, but after critique last Thursday, I see a whole world of improvement needed. As much as I hate to admit it sometimes, Neil has his moments where he's just right. (don't tell him I said that, it'll ruin my whole reputation).

Wednesday, October 21

You're coming to Rocky Horror tomorrow, right?



You are now.
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Catherine Cumming's Theater
Thurs, Fri, Saturday
8pm
free for students / $4 otherwise
dress up, bring friends, yell obscenities, we love it.

Thursday, October 15

Capstone, Fine Art Photography, Rocky Horror, and Thiebaud's cakes.

That's all my life has consisted of lately.
I have nothing of importance to say, mostly because everything I want to say is a blatant rant against Cazenovia's recent policies (not to mention the people that refuse to listen when students tell them "Hey, this isn't going to work this way, please try it this way instead" and then wonder why things around here have very little follow-through) and I am making an honest attempt to not only use this blog as a resource to bitch on.

I am overwhelmed, but after 3 consecutive hours in the library, I feel much better about my workload. I got some solid work done that I think I can logically make 10 pages for capstone with, and then found some resources on Fine Art Photography so I can finally wrap up Tony's presentation BEFORE Sunday night. Pepper's paper due Weds? I'm pushing to have it knocked out by Monday night, but let's face it, with the show next week, that's just wishful thinking.

But oh hey - Rocky Horror opens a week from today. It's awkward, it's comical, and you bet your ass it's sexy, so for $3 (or free if you're a student) it's probably worth your Friday night.

Tuesday, October 13

October Break

Got nothing significant accomplished during break. October break feels like it just stops my motivation completely for 4-5 days and then I have to start all over again when I get back to school. Binghamton just makes me cranky. The people don't, I had a wonderful time home with them, but there's just something about it here that makes me want to leave...

I was also really sick for the majority of break. I finally feel like I might be able to make it through the day today without medication, so that's nice at least. Got a new phone... so that's a plus I suppose. Gotta go halloween costume hunting with Kyle, as October always manages to fly past me and I miss precious prep time for my favorite holiday.

Next week is going to kick my ass. Tons of major things are due, so as soon as I'm back to school this evening, I'll be getting a jump start on research and paper writing. The amount of reading I still have to do is absurd, I don't understand what the point is to overloading us with reading when we need the time to read other things pertaining to our capstones. So much work. Not enough enjoying senior year thus far.

Tuesday, October 6

"Fine Art" for studio


http://www.flickr.com/photos/janemerry/3988309422/

Check out the latest pictures. I rather enjoy them. My shoes never looked so good.

Monday, October 5

Finally! Good vibes!

I had my first pro contact meeting with Cindy Bell on Friday, and even though I was shitting my pants about meeting her and how she'd perceive my work (which, at this point is much more a concept than a product), I put on my big girl panties and held my own. I think being completely honest, BS-free, and upfront about my project's concept and challenges, while simultaneously totally open to crit and advice, it went relatively well. She didn't tell me to change my project, so that was wonderful news. She also said she loved my concept, it just needed some further molding, which is highly appropriate advice.

I have since created a facebook group to network with (it has 82 members, holy hell.. something's gotta come of that!) and made a few contacts. This is thrilling news as I was beginning to panic that things weren't panning out. I had even had a nightmare(-ish) where I was sitting in L.F. and Nige said "ok so I don't see any cause for panic among you guy's projects.... except Shanna." and that was the end of that, because I think my subconscious woke me up, basically telling me this is no time to be sleeping. I have since changed my project game plan for large format to not my senior project, but still environmental portraits. I plan on documenting portrait-style the interesting characters of Caz, including but not limited to:
Lanoir (99 year old neighbor living in the apartments)
Eddie (white mutton chops, always shovels the sidewalk of Kinneys, eats lunch at Angels every day and dinner at the Linck every night)
Leaha (P&C deli girl, has the most mellow ferrets that she can wear them as a scarf)
--- what other Caz people should I ask to shoot? ---

In other news, Eliz's bachelorette party was delightful this weekend, I always love a good wine tour in gorgeous weather. It was a necessary break from the stress and monotony of this past week. This week however is a work week. I will shoot shoot shoot my little heart out, and read til my eyes fall out of my head (but nothing too serious, as I will be needing those to continue shooting with).

Monday, September 28

What a useless day.

I prefer taking things one day at a time, but sometimes it's not my fault that a whole bunch of days tend to attack me at once.

In other news, I finally finished edited the Hayden Memorial shots. They all just need a watermark which I am going to make an action for tomorrow, and then they can be batched and cd'd for Chief Shear.
Blogger is hating me like any other piece of technology today, so no pictures - but soon! as soon as I get them figured out.

Craigslist hates me, my computer is out of date and won't install my printer driver until the updated (get this: "Snow Leopard") gets here in 3-5 business days, my shoot with Ry Perry's RAW photo files hate me & refuse to open in either Lightroom or PS, and now blogger hates me. I'm going to go read for Pepper because the worst the book can do is papercut me.

Sunday, September 27

not dead.


When I'm not complaining about my lack of "what the hell am I going to do with my life come May??" plans, I'm usually Skyping with Kyle like this. You'd swear we're a world away again like this time last year, but no, AT&T and Verizon simply don't enjoy our separate plans, and this is free.

And yes, I'm freezing in a hoodie. Yay fall!!

Aside from freezing in my own room, I love fall, and really cannot wait to bust into some cozy fall clothes. I have ideas. The working out and the watching what I eat is, although cliche and annoying, totally working, even if it is pretty slow to show.

New stuff up tomorrow! Promise!!
xo

Monday, September 21

Angsty

I just want to make stuff.
Is that too much to ask?
No, I don't know exactly what yet.
No, I don't want to be a niche photographer.
No, I don't want anyone telling me what to do.
I just want to make stuff.
If I make money doing it, then fantastic.
If I don't, at least I'll be happy.

Other people have done it - why can't I? I follow a whole bunch of blogs about people who just freelance and make stuff and are incredibly happy with their lives.
That's all I want - to make stuff, and be happy.

Wednesday, September 16

Casting Calls

For the record, casting calls make me nervous. Honestly, more nervous than actively hunting down a model online and talking to them directly (and basically flattering them to no end so they'll work with me). Too many people can see it, and there's the feeling that no one will answer (ps, no one has yet on Craigslist.. time to think about posting it under a different section) -- or you'll get a bunch of creepy people and accomplish nothing.

I put another casting call up on Model Mayhem, and although I'm sure I'll get a few hits, I'm sure most of them will be looking for portfolio work (ie didn't bother reading the ad itself) or they'll all be from NYC and want to be compensated (again, didn't bother reading the whole thing).

On the bright side, I hope to shoot Ry Perry early next week. This week is too late notice (which suuuucks cuz I'm steadily cutting deadlines close already) but I think Monday will be ducky. I'd love to shoot tomorrow during LF but I don't think he's available. Maybe I'll look into it anyway...

How's everyone else's semester going so far? Creatively, I hope!

Monday, September 14

In other intern-unrelated news...

I have decided on a capstone thesis. Everyone in Corporate America has a secret. I want them to share it with me. I've made it official because I just finished my first ever Craigslist casting call. Not gonna lie, I'm actually really nervous about the whole thing:

http://syracuse.craigslist.org/crg/1373982966.html


I'm scared on two accounts:
-What if someone actually answers?? I'll really have to, like, talk to them and stuff.
-What if no one answers???? Then what do I do for my senior capstone?

I guess this is growing up...

I'm pumped to start, but I'm scared to death at the same time. This means I'm actually going. The wheel has started spinning. Capstone here I come, full force.

I also bought some driving gloves yesterday that I'm head over heels for:

and the A&D looked really eerie last night, and the picture I snapped from my room made it look like a toy. I love the effect, but I really couldn't tell you how I managed it..
Just thought I'd share.

Journal Essay Assignment - Question #5

5) What information or advice would you give to next year's interns, to help them be better prepared and better able to perform well during their internships?

Talk. Talk all the time, and to everyone. You never know where or from who you'll pick up a tidbit about the business that you can't learn in a book.

I would also suggest doing as much research into possible internships as possible. I did my best, and still found myself interning at home. If they truly want a NYC internship, it is entirely possible, it just involves a world of effort and self-promotion. I didn’t mind settling at home, as my priorities were saving money at the moment, and NYC was not an option that would fit with me this time around. I also believe that research is necessary, otherwise a student may find themselves serving coffee and not actually doing anything pertaining to their subject of study. I realized after interviewing at NYLON Magazine that I would not be doing anything for photography, but rather calling a lot of people and making lists… aka nothing like what I would want to do all summer. Yes a NYC internship would have looked great on my resume, but let’s be honest – if I wanted to work for someone else, maybe I would have cared about my resume rather than content. In personal experience, learning how to run and manage my own business means more to my clients than a byline on a piece of paper.

Journal Essay Assignment - Question #4

4) What were some of the challenges/problems faced while on this internship? How did you deal with them?

A major problem faced was not knowing the software, and having to reteach myself everything I thought I knew about photography software. The program utilized by Cycle Shots is called DRUMS, and it is basically a batching tool for mass quantities of photos (as in entire leagues, schools, and sporting events all in one program). I was familiar with the data entry aspects of the program, but when I began learning how to Verify Crop and Correct, I struggled. The monitors are not calibrated like they are at school. In Caz, what you see on the screen is (most of the time) what you'll get out of the printer; the colors are least close and it doesn't require too many test prints to get a good looking print. These monitors are not calibrated to the printer, and Frank has never felt the need to calibrate them, since he's the only one who works with them, and therefore is well aware of the quirks and what one needs to do to correct them on the computer before printing. For example, to get a proper skin color to print, the image on the screen must be magenta-blue. Too much green will cause the picture to print yellow. If you make the photo on the screen look perfect to the eye, it will print in drastically (and unsellable-ly) incorrect colors. The contrast works the same way - if the photo's contrast looks perfect on screen, it's going to print incredibly light.

As if correcting a "good looking" picture wasn't hard enough, I frequently had to correct images that were ... shall we say, less than professional looking. Cycle Shots formats and prints for multiple photographers that work for a separate company altogether, and what we think is a good picture doesn't usually match up with what they give us. Because Frank is so good with the program and the correcting, and the prints often turn out near-flawless, the photographers he processes for are none the wiser that their photography skills may be lacking here and there.

Cropping within the program was an issue as well, as different photos needed to fit into different templates. I was unfamiliar with the templates, and therefore struggled sometimes to gauge how tight of a crop was necessary. If the crop was too wide, I would lose heads and feet when put into the template later on, and if cropped too tightly, definition in the faces would be too difficult to see.

This type of eye-brain coordination was something I had trouble adjusting to. I couldn't seem to get it right for the longest time, one particularly hard day being June 1st. I was not used to having to edit the colors so much just to get a good print. I'm used to it being easier, I suppose. What you see is what you get, right? Not this time around. I eventually got better, but I still don't think I made them perfect every time like Frank; he's been doing this every day for the past 10 years. Because he knew what he was doing, I frequently asked for his help and approval to get better. His criticisms were sometimes very direct, almost cutting, but in retrospect I needed it. I spent a few days telling him how this was never something I wanted to have to do the rest of my life, but eventually I found a calmness about it, a sort of lullaby of repetition, and found it almost relaxing.

Journal Essay Assignment - Question #3

3) What are the best and worst parts of this internship? Why? How are both of these aspects to your internship part of your learning experience?

The best parts of the internship, hands down, were the flexibility and all of the hands on, direct interaction. There was nowhere else I could have interned that would have given me that level of attention. Worst side? I suppose if there was a downside, it would be that I worked for my dad. That simply means that the criticisms were rougher (there was no level of “Maybe I shouldn’t hurt this stranger’s feelings") – but at the same time, his critiques of my work certainly taught me faster than someone who sugarcoated things and gave me too much time to correct any issues. Problems got solved much quicker because he didn’t have to create a friendship first, as it was already well established.

I would have preferred, ideally, to have not interned in Binghamton and rather been out in a major city. I think that's simply my pride though - I had a lot of friends/peers in the city and I was so jealous I couldn't be with them. But at the same time, the money I saved and the local connections I gained gave me a lot of encouragement towards how to start my own business post-graduation, and the comfort of being close to home should I fail (the safety net is a good feeling that I know won't last forever, so I'd like to take full advantage of it). I'm sure the city would have found a way to break my spirit if I was at all in the "wrong" internship.

So really, there was no major upside or downside - they played off of one another until there was a happy medium that I was glad to leave the internship with.

Journal Essay Assignment - Question #2

2) How does your internship relate to what you have learned in your classes?

My internship related to my classes in an odd way. I needed my classes as a foundation for my photography as well as my computer knowledge. On the other hand, I found that I relied more on my common sense, as well as things I learned in extra-curriculars. My ability to bullshit and be the most polite, delightful person in a situation of chaos led to the job getting done smoother. Classes are necessary and I don’t mean to knock their value one bit, but when it came to real world situations, no class could teach you to think on your feet (other than debate, which I never had schedule time for…) and the ability to be polite but have a sense of humor about it after the fact. The reality is, not everyone is nice, but in order to get the job taken care of, you are required to be. I am sassy, and I’m well aware of it, but I know when and where it won’t get me anywhere. If classes taught me that, they didn’t mean to.

Journal Essay Assignment - Question #1

1) Name at least five ways in which this internship can or will benefit you in the future. What steps must you take in order for these things to happen?

My internship allowed me to learn the basic concepts associated with entreprenuership through the direct interaction with the owner of Cycle Shots. I worked every day a desk away from him, and we often discussed the basic principles of LLC work versus a sole proprietorship, among other things. Taxes and taking on a lifelong workload came up, as well as how one takes a paycheck when they’re the only ones working. Frank is the only “paid” employee in the business, and the business is his life; it is often difficult to distinguish what money is “the company’s” and what money is his paycheck. I would like to run my own business one day, with as few employees as possible in order to keep complete creative control (because I don’t share well with others) and all of the subjects of money and the like got me thinking of what I’m truly in for. With all of the power comes all of the responsibility.

I made a lot of professional contacts while interning – many of which have very little to do with the direct photographic process. I learned that, although yes it is important to know the people to know within the business, it is also incredibly important to recognize, appreciate, and get to know other people who can be involved such as gas station attendants, public relation folks, the ladies at UPS, and those involved with rental cars. Networking is important, and necessary, even if all contacts aren’t directly involved.

Studio versus on location shooting was something I’ve been trying to come to terms with for years now. Frank shoots entirely on location for sporting events, and I have always preferred shooting outside of a studio. However, the equipment required for shooting on location is very different, and led me to thinking about what I’ll need in order to start my own business and exactly what kind of photography I want to focus on (ie what sort of technology I’ll need to establish as I establish myself).

As far as equipment goes, I learned that good investments over time pay for themselves. I will no longer fall victim to the “newest” product. It is not the price of your camera, but how you use it. It is not necessarily the newest products that will last the longest because Frank works with lighting from the 1980s that still work fantastically. They’ve been under constant supervision and had the utmost care and maintenance over the years. The newer batteries used in Frank’s cameras don’t hold nearly the charge expected, and the chargers are not always reliable. The old school equipment used seems to never fail, and has yet to be updated. Cameras still had to be updated, but the lenses haven’t.

Finally, I learned that, although I have extensive “photographic” training, I truly know nothing about business, and I have all intentions of taking a few business classes at Broome Community College. I don’t need another degree; I need a solid level of knowledge that I haven’t had the opportunity to gain at Cazenovia due to credit and scheduling constraints.

In order for all of that to happen, I simply need to follow through. With the right attitude, and a little start-up cash, I think I can start my own business. This internship definitely better prepared me for the “real world” in that some days will be slow, some days you’ll be up late and away from home, and when you shoot on location, rain happens.

A Note of Warning

I must preface this update for those of you who read my blog semi-regularly, and were perhaps unaware that it's main purpose was to be an outlet for my information of my internship - to communicate with Anita throughout the summer rather than emails. My next few entries (more than likely back to back as I'm almost completely done with them in Word) will all be the separate "journal essay assignments," each in their own post for convenient unity and understanding. Sorry this won't be terribly sassy per usual, but anyone who reads regularly knows I can't wholly remove myself from anything I write, professional or otherwise.

To begin, here is the breakdown of my intern hours & activities by the date (I didn't feel the need to post these mundane little notes every time I updated, but I did keep a written journal the whole time):
5/17 - "Joe shoot" = 9 hours
5/20 - Data entry = 4 hours
5/21 - Data entry = 3 hours
5/26 - DRUMS verify crop & correct [training] - 4 hours
5/27 - DRUMS verify crop & correct; post office run - 4 hours
5/28 - DMV, paperwork, insurance, DMV; Billing totals for Joe [paperwork], Month-end Billing on FileMaker; post office run - 4 hours
6/1 - Data entry, VC&C [bad day] - 4 hours
6/2 - VC&C; Run work to packager, post office - 5 hours
6/3 - VC&C; number & chronologically organize upcoming jobs; Shipping & Receiving @ UPS - 5 hours
6/4 - VC&C; UPS - 4 hours
6/8 - VC&C; UPS, bank - 4 hours
6/9 - Data entry, VC&C - 4 hours
6/10 - Data entry, UPS - 4 1/2 hours
6/11 - VC&C - 4 hours
6/15 - VC&C; post office; Flamingo duty - 5 1/2 hours
6/16 - VC&C; UPS - 4 hours
6/17 - Data entry, UPS - 5 hours
6/18 - VC&C - 3 hours
6/23 - Data entry, Joe shoot [Bainbridge] - 7 hours
6/24 - Data entry - 3 hours
6/25 - Data entry, UPS - 3 hours
6/29 - Data entry; Packaging material drop off, post office; Retype & rework Cycle Shots, LLC's cover letter - 5 1/2 hours
6/30 - VC&C; Cover letter (50 copies); UPS, Staples for supplies - 5 hours
7/1 - VC&C, Photoshop; Stuff sample envelops for Sales - 3 hours
7/7 - Data entry; UPS - 2 hours
7/9 - Data entry; Sales correspondent emails; VC&C - 4 hours
7/10 - Finished Flamingo - 1/2 hour
7/14 - Data entry; Sales meeting with Jeffery Yoder - 3 hours
7/15 - Sales research - 2 hours
7/20 - Data entry; Staples - 4 hours
7/21 - Customer service calls & emails; Worked out a price & facts list for Yoder - 3 hours
7/23 - Email correspondence & sales, further sales research - 3 hours
8/4 - Data entry, Anniversary Reservation Maker - 2 hours

Altogether - 129 hours
(required: 100-120)
Towards the end of summer, the season became less busy, and needing me every day became few and far between - there just wasn't the work to be done. At the time of school starting up again, the fall season picked up, and I am currently needed once more, and working when in the area.

Tuesday, September 1

2009.

Happy first day of classes.Holy shit senior year how did this happen?

Goals to accomplish before the end of the semester:
* Website finished (or rather, started). Designed, paid for, up and running.
* New contact cards.
* Purchase new Canon.
* Finalize large prints for a solid professional portfolio.
* Shoot entirety of my senior project.
* Find a creative outlet that I can embrace every single day.
* Get to the gym and become healthy.
* Begin designing clothes with the help of Miss Locatelli & Miss Manning (neither of them know this yet, but it's in my grand scheme of backup plans for when I can't make a living on photo alone).

These are among the obvious "make deans list" "make projects I'm proud of" "finish FAFSA" "survive these weddings" "Make this senior theater show something spectacular" sort of goals I'm working on anyway.

What are your goals?

Monday, August 31

Let the chaos begin


This journal is going to become primarily photo-related. Ranting will be relegated to a more private journal, and this will contain more sass, more photos, and more artistic / career related notes.

Classes start tomorrow.
My hair is growing longer.
I'm hellbent on my waist growing smaller.
I'm doing all I can to keep my various fall schedules straight.
I will not let any of this break me.

Saturday, August 29

omg HI!

I'm back!! I'm sure no one was worried or seriously missed me, but I finally got my new computer cable today (after uhhhh 2 weeks. No I do not want to talk about how much I've missed my little Macky McMacMeister.) I have got to do Pete's graduation edits this weekend (I have some free time tomorrow afternoon and the majority of Monday night). The suite is fantastic, absolutely no complaints. I am moved in, as are the freshies, and I already love this class. They are fun and outgoing and not lame like last year's. They played games and weren't worried about embarrassing themselves, especially when all of us OC/OL/OAs were dancing our asses off during the various days - we've got a group of joiners, I'm thrilled.

I cannot wait. Let's get started. I'm ready so don't stop.

Tuesday, August 18

Brief as brief can be.

My grandfather died yesterday.
My power cord for the computer died today, with my computer's actual battery not far behind it as I type.
I'm packing nonstop for the next 3 days, attempting to move some things into the suite early (just in case), and going to NC with my mom for funeral arrangement type of things Friday-Monday.
I get back into Bing Monday morning, just to finish packing the car and drive to Caz by afternoon.

You won't be hearing from me much until school starts.
I have run out of time.

Friday, August 14

Alex

Today I shot senior portraits for a good friend of mine's younger brother. They turned out alright, I dunno if I'm jump up and down thrilled with them yet, I still need to go through everything in lightroom. I am happy with them, I took a bunch bouncing between a regular lens and my wide angle. We'll see...

In other news, drama drama drama. I cannot wait to be back in Caz.

Wednesday, August 12

No one panic. My links are all back (miraculously) - thank you Blogger, I was quite unthrilled with you.

In other brief news, I have a budget currently of $1500 to get me started with a solid pro camera and lenses (which, ps, is also my entire bank account, so I don't know if "budget" is quite the right term). I so desperately want the Canon EOS 5D Mark II, but it is currently another $1500 on top of what I've got, body only. It would seem wise to just continue saving, the issue is I'd have to save money that I'm not making while at school. I won't be working (as far as I know) so where am I going to suddenly have another $1500? I need a camera for school, specifically senior project, as my Rebel is dying more and more on me every day.

Ebay, here I come (unwillingly, as I don't particularly trust it).

Tuesday, August 11

Just a day just an.. ordinary day


Today is a boring day. I get to go grocery shopping for the apartment with Kyle when he's out of work, and I'm a huge nerd so I'm actually looking forward to it. I've been doing laundry all day, and I have done nearly nothing productive. Need days like this here and there. I'm going to try to work on pictures later tonight; if anything turns out spectac, I'll put them up.

What have you been up to?


[edit: cool. suddenly all of the blogs I've been following are gone. Completely. Awesome, thank you blogger.]

Monday, August 10

Discoveries!!

I did a whole mess of cleaning and organizing in preparation for going back to school (holy cow 2 weeks.) -- my room has steadily been taken over by things I need but don't use at home every day, and it needed to be packed up. I am a very particular packer, I do not want help packing my things as I can't stand how other people pack (not saying my way is fantastic or anything, but it's the only way that works for me).

I thusfar have a floor fan, small vacuum, bag of bedding (which includes an eggcarton foamy mattress cover, a fleece blanket, two comforters, a pillow, sheets, a loveseat cover, a Caz sweatshirt-material blanket, two bath towels, and a Snuggie. - see? only I can compact all of that into one bag that was originally meant to hold just one comforter), one camera bag, one pink milk crate of movies and entertainment, one tupperware bucket of misc stuff, and a garbage can. All I have left to pack honestly is stuff I can only pack right before leaving - toiletries, a suitcase of clothes & shoes, and my computer bag. Nice. I like being able to fit my life in my car. It just disgusts me how much stuff I still have sprawled across my desk and other various spots in my room.

I went through all of my camera supplies and gear since freshman year, and I discovered a misplaced flash meant for my Canon that I've been looking for for... two years. I also found the camera connector for my tripod, so I couldn't be more thrilled about that. I officially have three (working) lenses for my medium format camera that I didn't know existed, and more 35 mm black and white film than I know what to do with. Anyone in need? It's not terribly outdated. I do not need it, as I do not have a 35mm camera anymore (it broke after fall semester of my sophomore year and I love medium format so much I've never bothered to get it fixed).

Fantastic little discoveries all day long. My bookshelf is so disheveled and in dire need of reorganizing but I think that's a feat I'll have to tackle another day.
Thankfully the new tower fan I bought is quiet and works amazingly now that I got the proper parts screwed together. Definitely worth the $20.

Yesterday at Michaels I got 5 frames for $4.99 each to finally start work on Kyle's bare walls. Elsie, a blogger I follow because she's just so free and crafty and fun, discovered a tutorial on how to create TTV (through the viewfinder) photographs in photoshop, and the outcome is so fantasic I cannot wait to recreate them for my photo wall masterpiece. I'll probably spend the afternoon messing around with textures. I cannot wait to get back to school to get back to printing.

Honestly? I can't really wait to get back to school at all. I miss my friends and my art necessities being at my fingertips. I'm looking forward to it far more than ever before.

Thursday, August 6

Photography

I am caught in a tough situation when it comes to how I feel about my photography. I look at half a million pictures a day, and all I can think is "it's been done before." But then I can't figure out how I'd personally make them any better if I took them. It's like, a world of cliches in photography, all just being repeated, and what kind of photographer do I want to be? Vintage. AKA taking pictures a way that's already been done. Over and over again. I don't know how to make something new, and still have myself in it.

and the school year hasn't even started yet, how depressing.

Tuesday, August 4

As far as internship

...there really isn't much to say. I clocked in another hour today, but it's slow and there isn't much work for me to do at all. Good thing it's winding down and I've covered all my hours, I just don't feel like I'm finished is all.

In other news, I have been ridiculously sick since Friday. During the day, I was feeling extremely stir crazy, so I decided to be quasi-productive. I baked cupcakes and painted a picture. (I'm debating adding some text to it... not sure yet)

That certainly made me feel better until I got unbelievably sick to my stomach later that night (I have a feeling it had something to do with licking a shitton of raw egg batter...) That sick stomach lasted for the next three days, which put a damper on what otherwise would have been one of the best Saturdays of my summer (I'll elaborate in a moment). Saturday night through yesterday until about 4:30 pm, I had a killer migraine and ridiculously sore neck, to the point where I couldn't relax my neck to sleep to try to get rid of the headache. After this entire several day ordeal, I was so weak I was like a zombie most of yesterday. I'm finally feeling better today, and last night was the first in over a week that I slept the whole night through and didn't wake up with a headache. Win! Time to be productive again!

Satuday was the second day of Speidie Fest, the pride and joy of Binghamton. It was techinically the 25th Anniversary Speidie Fest and Balloon Rally -- basically it's a 3 day festival where all we do is eat local deliciousness and listen to either unknown bands or washed up bands (usually), and then watch big hot air balloons take off from the park. You can pay per day (bad idea) or buy a button for $15 that gets you in all 3 days and allows you to go inside the concert areas for "free" (otherwise it's $20 per day). I was planning on going, but had no one to go with, and this was a problem because The Veronicas were opening for Sugar Ray. I have been a Sugar Ray fan from the 90's, and was not about to miss out on this concert. Thankfully, Laur had nothing better to do and drove from Caz to Bing to hang for the day.(the little blonde one's my favorite, she screams a lot.)(and then she took her shirt off.) I treated Laur to speidies, and she ended up getting me autographs of 4/5 band members, because she's just the best. We were in the middle of 13 year olds for the first like hour and a half of the total concert (there were 2 other "openers"), but by the time Sugar Ray came on, we'd fought our way up to the stage fence.(It's cool, you're totally allowed to be jealous.)

It didn't help that by the end of the concert, we both felt really sick from the heat, too much sugar, and not enough water. She got better, sadly I didn't.

I attempted shopping on Sunday with my mom, which was alright for about an hour, but then I was feeling like death again. I got The Time Traveler's Wife because I want to read it before I see the movie; I hear the book is terrific. I also got two pairs of American Rag jeans for a combined $22 (I love sales on the jeans that fit me perfectly), 2 3/4 length henleys from the Gap (thanks to a Mr. Mikazeuwski's friends&family 30% off), and 2 plain tshirts from American Eagle. A few solid staples, much needed, and all quite cheap.

The bright side to not having a job is that you can lay on the couch for hours on end until you feel better, rather than exhausting yourself further with work, and taking weeks to feel 100% again. Today I have errands like mad, and then (crosses all fingers and toes) Kyle will be 99% moved in, and we can finish tomorrow. This apartment has become the bane of my summer.

(edit: for the record, only being allowed to upload 5 pictures at a time, then hand arranging them is bullshit blogger. It took me over an hour to finish this post. Fix it.)