I love Netflix.

As I have nothing better to do while I search jobs and whatnot, I've been watching SKINS on netflix's instant queue. I'm in love with this show. It's like a BBC version of High School Musical that has no singing, no dancing except at clubs, a shitload of teenage drug usage, and genuinely reminds me of being in Britain. I realize that doesn't really sound appealing to most, but I'm rather enjoying it.

In other news, I have a hair appointment to fix this disaster at 3:30 at Nikki Fennmore's salon. I wonder if I should mention to her that I've seen her perform and she's the reason I've even heard of Art of Hair in the first place, or just keep my mouth shut. Mom suggested I ask her for a trade, since my photo skills are generally aimed at her community, but she's not the colorist actually doing my hair, so I have my doubts it's even worth bringing up.

In other other news, if anyone at all has any connections to non profit NYC art & media organizations, I'd love a heads up. I applied to a job that I'm not only qualified for, but genuinely interested in called Our Silent Canvas (<--click for the website). They need an assistant / creative planner, and I fit all of their qualifications and their "these skills are a bonus" - plus I really dig their statement. Anyone who knows anyone, it would be greatly appreciated to throw in a good word for me.  

I'm sending good juju your way in advance.

I need to organize my life again

Here I am again, sitting in an empty house I have no claim to other than my dog, who is hellbent on not letting me sit still. I sincerely look forward to the days when he no longer requires my constant supervision.

Here's the general outlook for the following week:

Craigslist at least twice a day, once in the am and once after lunch to try and find applicable jobs that I don't have to lie about myself to get the job done. The hardest part about this is that I keep finding things I know I can do, but I either don't know how to say "Hi, I won't be there til February but I am damn good at what I do!! Please hire me and trust that waiting is the best answer!" or I am too chickenshit to believe someone might actually be willling to wait for a too-good-to-be-true job, so I just don't want to bother. I want to be on the hunt for jobs now, but I kind of know no one is going to hire a month out, other than internships. I realize it's also pretty futile as I can't do interviews until the last week of January as it is.

Then I have to attend to the pups; the one I'm housesitting for now will be referred to as Snaggle, because she's rather cute other than this CRAZY snaggletooth on her bottom set that juts out over her lip in an underbite fashion. It would be adorable and endearing if it wasn't so scary first thing in the morning when she's staring at me from my pillow that she somehow always manages to confiscate in my sleep.

In any other time, I'm reworking resumes, cover letters, my web site, the order of my professional experience, keeping the house tidy from antics and general clutter, and Craigslisting apartments, also something I can't commit to until February, but it's nice to see my options dwindle ahead of time. At least I'm getting an idea of how much money I don't have that I need in order to move in, let alone sustain myself at. On the bright side, I find I don't miss tv.

I have no problem taking an internship, I would absolutely love hands on experience in a less-stressful situation such as an internship, but the problem is that most are unpaid. And, in the biggest stretch of chance I actually get one, how do I expect to jet to NYC and start that, without knowing how I'll make and save any money. It's one thing to know you'll only be there for the summer & you can plan accordingly, but I barely have my feet under me. I feel like I need to find part time work, then a possible internship (oh holy mother of hell, Swayze just found a squeak toy of Snaggle's that sounds like he is straight up murdering a small animal and it is screaming for its life. Scared the pants off me just now. /random tangent) -- I know getting any job is better than nothing, but I always worry that more than one place will want me, and then what? God, how cocky is my chickenshit subconscious?? Honestly.

On more personal notes, I dyed my hair and it's awful. I haven't had such a disaster since the "blond incident" of freshman year. I am letting it fade a few days so I don't torch it to death, and then promptly fixing it. I'd say before New Years, as to not cause myself public embarrassment on a night out, but at the moment I will not be going out, as I have no one to go out with me. Great dress, brand new 6 inch platform pumps, and no where to go. I am also working on my 23 before 24 list, and being pissy about buying groceries. 

I'm a little out of touch, distant, and grouchy these days. I'm not sure if it's the stress or the weather or the sheer lack of feeling anything stable, but I'll try to cheer up. I had intended to keep this blog for only the positive bright side of my life, but, well, we can't have everything.

Cross some fingers for me that something, anything will pan out for my New Year? I promise to do the same for you.

If that god awful toy wasn't keeping him so entertained, I'd throw it out. He would like the most irritating toy in the house.

Dog Training

I am in the middle of dog training - Swayze is young so I don't know how much he's going to retain. He's on and off like a light bulb; he can be amazing for an entire day and by evening, he's a terror. Or we'll have one great day, where I'm sure we made progress, and the very next day he's impossible.

I've been watching dog training videos on youtube & Animal Planet, and as much as I appreciate the advice and whatnot, there's quite a few "problems" that I don't have with Sway, so I don't know how to use the information properly. For example, I'm watching this series on how to teach your dog not to bark. A lot of the training techniques are for if your dog is barking at something they are afraid of. On the bright side, I don't think Sway is afraid of much. He had a rough first few months of life, but nothing he went through before adoption seems to have left scars - he loves playing with other dogs (particularly dogs 3-4 times his size), he doesn't fear odd things like hats or even the Christmas tree, and he's submissive & loves to be pet & held (when he isn't all riled up that is). What he barks at is entirely natural - wanting to play more, or when people / dogs walk past the window. He doesn't bark at them in real life like on a walk, but behind the window he decides to be ballsy. He loves looking out the window, it's one of the few things that calms him, so even though all of the videos say to not allow him near things like fences or windows (aka avoid a barking trigger) seems against all of my intuition. It's not like he barks nonstop. In fact, he's asleep on the back of the couch up against the window as I type.

I just feel a little stuck - he's got enough basic information down 90% of the time, and while we "train" with treats, he seems to be catching on. It's the in practice that he falls apart. He gets so distracted, I know I need to keep his attention on me, I just don't know how to get it. I just need someone to tell me where to go from here. 

We need to work on not biting and heeling. That's today's challenge. If I'm going to move forward with my future plans, he's got to be better trained. That puts both of us on a very tight schedule and short deadline. 

If anyone that reads this has tips or good links, PLEASE share!! Thanks in advance!

No time to waste.

It's All Happening.

I'm so scared and so full of anxiety and so ready and so nervous and so... so... 

I'm ready. I just need to keep telling myself I'm ready.

I'll be ok. 

It's a huge step, it's scary as hell (and get this - it's not really my wellbeing I'm scared of, it's Swayze's. I don't want to let him down.) and it's about damn time.

More on this when I'm for sure ready to share the news. I want to keep the bulk of it to myself for a little longer. Just cross some fingers for me?

Hope everyone else's new years plans are taking shape, too.

Christmas Spirit

I am so ahead of the game this year. 

I am 1.5 small gifts short of having all my shopping done this year - I've never been so thankful for online shopping. I was nearly finished by Thanksgiving, and the last of my shopping all had 5-10 day ground shipping, so I'm just playing a waiting game. Everything's ordered, just gotta hope it arrives in time for wrapping. Success. 

This leaves plenty of room to bake. Not usually a task I look forward to because I'm not the best little Suzy Homemaker, but this year, something just feels right about it. 

I don't usually well up with excitement for the holidays. I never get overly festive, nor do I usually look forward to Christmas all that much - getting gifts and all the red & green don't typically do it for me. It's just not my favorite holiday. This year though, I got to do things my way, and I have mixed Hannukah traditions, Christmas music on my own terms, Christmas movies (not just the ABC Family ones), and personal shopping time to really get it right for everyone I care about this year. Felt refreshing.

I'm wondering how much of this "adult-esque" revelation has been the puppy's fault. I know it sounds ridiculous, but he's so much like having a kid, I really feel like I've got my own little family by having him with me all the time now. I want his holiday to be special, even if he doesn't understand why it should be.

In other news, I had Cap'n Crunch for the first time today. Where was this my whole childhood?? I recall thinking I didn't like it, but apparently I've grown out of that. One bowl led to another...

So much snow.

Ignore me sounding like a baby-voiced douche.

Enjoy the snowy fluff bounding along with me.

Taxes

Being an adult is tough work.

I applied (finally) for my sales tax ID number, so that part is just a waiting game. In the meantime, I found the rest of the paperwork I need to do them online, and stalled out.

I don't know how to do my own sales tax. I totally understand how to do the math, what I don't understand is how to fill out all of the excessive paperwork that "proves" how I get to the mathematical answer I already know. I'm hoping to get a  hold of an accountant tomorrow afternoon to arrange a meeting real real soon (these particular taxes are due the 20th... yikes).

Gross.

Just sharing, because that's the stress factor tonight. 

Other than that, it's quiet here on Swissvale.

ZOMG snow.

I shall use the back yard table as a point of measuring reference.

December 1st came, and it started snowing, in a slush sort of drizzly way.

By the 3rd, it was starting to come down and stick a little. 

By the 5th, we had at least 8 inches outside.

6th & 7th, it snowed so bad I had to cancel a dinner date on Monday & a Hanukah party last night at Jill's cousin Sammy's. 

Last night I gave up and shoveled that picnic table in the back. It's glass top and I was getting worried...

Today, I was up at 7 & shoveling by 720. Did a shoddy job, but I had to be on the road at 8, so I just did bare minimum to get my car out of the driveway. 

I then risked puppy life and my vehicle's limbs to get to Rome for the puppy sitter (Jill's sister watched him while I taught for an hour). The roads were horrible until I got to Oneida, where you'd swear it hadn't snowed even 3 inches. Once I was in Utica, late for the class I was supposed to teach at 10, everyone was very understanding as they'd been prepped that I was coming from Syracuse. 

Utica had only wet roads; no snow, no ice, just wet. 

Once back in Chittenango, I was once again steering for our lives.

Upon successfully returning home, I found I had to shovel again in order to even pull into, let alone park, in the driveway. I tried shoveling, but the under-layer of snow had started to melt, and it was heavy as hell. I gave up not even a quarter through it, and broke down to finally call Mark, the kid that mowed the lawn all fall. He has a snowblower. I offered to make him tea. He politely declined, but I couldn't be more thankful that I can finally pull my car back into the driveway safely.

The class I taught was for older folks at the Utica rec center to learn how to turn on their camera, learn the auto settings, set the date/time, and focus properly (press the shoot button halfway, it'll beep, then press all the way! great job! I am not a good teacher.). Turns out I'm much better at talking them through it while I do it, especially since they all had different cameras. One lady took notes, she was cute and reminded me of my Grandma Bowman. She would be befuddled by new technology too. 

I would have loved to show her how to take digital pictures.

One the second day of Hannukah...

I'm learning about Jews. 

Today, I learned about Gelt and how to make latkas. 

Not being a fan of potatoes, I was quite nervous about whether or not I'd enjoy tonight's dinner.

Turns out, it was delish. And I'm enjoying my education quite a bit.

And now, I leave you with a little fluffylove:

Published.

I'm getting a picture published in late December.

I'm getting full credit, no money, but to be fair I don't think anyone's photos were paid for.

To be honest, I'm just sort of excited that a picture I took is going to be available at Barnes & Noble!

(hey there Resume, haven't updated you in a while...)

If anyone is interested, the book is called 100 of the Most Influential Gay Entertainers, by Jenetha Baines, and it's released December 28th, and you can click here to see what it's all about. I photographed Stefon Royce at the Mr. USofA, MI show earlier this year and the photos she was originally working with were too dark for publishing, so they instead went with one of mine. 

Exciting email to kick off a new month, to say the least.