Anxiety Like No Other

Remember when I said I was going to get a mall retail job if I wasn't in NYC by Feb 18th? I interviewed at Burlington Coat Factory on Valentines day, and after a good interview, she basically told me "We only hire 1 out of 10 people I interview, and checking your references will take the longest. You could hear from us in as little as four days, or up to a month." - I left feeling less than enthusiastic and optomisitic.

Well, they called me and ended up starting me *on* the 18th. So for whatever reason, that was an excellent deadline. I've been there about two weeks, it's minimum wage, I don't love it but I also have nothing to complain about. Money is money. 

This, unfortunately, puts me in the Binghamton area longer than I'd anticipated. I figure I'm going to stay long enough to save money through this job, and as the Spring starts, my photo seasons pick up again, both working for myself and my freelance gigs through Park Studio. Might as well find somewhere else to be settled for a bit? because 'home' just doesn't feel right anymore. Swayze feels like a burden and I haven't felt "at home" since graduation.

Therefore, there are plans on the horizon to move out of the house by April at the earliest, May at the latest. My hopes are painfully high for the situation Casey and I just got ourselves signed up for. I'm so so nervous. My anxiety is through the roof, for various reasons including but not limited to: can I afford it, how do I decorate, how do I afford to decorate, can I cope with staying in an area I'm not really happy in, and above all: what if the landlord decides to rent to anyone but us?

The house we looked at is perfect. Obviously I'm ridiculously worried we won't get it. It's too good to be true: a fenced in back yard for Sway, a driveway, washer and drier, 2 floors, 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths. It's beyond ideal for the 2 of us and 3 pets. Pretty sure we're both going to be devastated if we don't get it. 

I've had a racing heart for nearly 24 hours. 

Cross your fingers for us?

If it's meant to be, it'll work out. I'm having trouble coping with the thought that it may not be. Everything else points to it's supposed to be ours.